“Are you writing about the precognition fight?” “No, about when you threw the coat at me.”

Doyle and I were yelling at each other in the kitchen.

Kelsey: (After he took a swipe at my head and caught hair instead.) Argh, you floofed my hair!

Chris: Wait, floofed?

Kelsey: Yes, floofed, and-

Chris: No, no, you can’t just – you dictionary that shit right now or never say it again.

Kelsey: No, I know the rules, so-

Chris: I’m sorry, is it funner to say it like that?

Kelsey: … stop.

Chris: What? It’s not more funner to-

Kelsey: You asshole.

Cue fighting for a good five minutes about being English majors and ruining the English language before he shouts:

Chris: GET THEE TO A NUNNERY.

Kelsey: OR, get thee to a PUNNERY.

He chased me out of the kitchen and threw a coat at me.

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