“Well, it’d be a little less awkward if I was still wearing clothing.”

Transcript of a text conversation had with Chris Dyck:

Kelsey: IT’S COMING

Kelsey: TEN DAYS

Kelsey: TEN DAAAAAAAYS

Chris: Lol, can’t get excited, I may have money issues. 5 courses this semester too, new for me.

Kelsey: Don’t worry about it now. We’ll budget, no worries. =) And if you need any help studying, Chris and I will help you! Besides, aren’t you excited just a little? To move in with us? =D

Chris: Wait, that’s what we’re doing? Fucccccckkkkk…

Kelsey: You looooove us. You want to liiiiiive with us. =D

Chris: Yes. Cohabitual murders are much easier to perform.

Chris: Please reply to that. My phone provider is going to contact the authorities.

Kelsey: Let them. We can host our first dinner party and have champagne and talk about police things when they come to arrest you. Later we’ll look back on this and say, “Oh, the fun that we had!”

Chris: Wait, they overlook rape?

Kelsey: You just made this awkward, Chris. Who’s raping who, here? See? Now it’s more awkward. This is why we can’t have nice things.

Chris: Well, it’d be a little less awkward if I was still wearing clothing.

Kelsey: You are odd and it unsettles me. One day I’m just going to have to waltz around the house naked just to unsettle you as you unsettle me. You did this to yourself.

Chris: This is why we can’t have nice things.

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